If you're currently searching for "how to write a best man speech," "what does a best man say," or "how to start a wedding speech," you don't have to deliver an Oscar-winning performance.
A good best man speech is above all honest, specific, and short enough that no one secretly checks their watch. Humor is nice. Personality is more important.
What mistakes should you avoid in a best man speech?
- Too long: Five to eight minutes is perfect. Ten minutes is already pushing it.
- Too general: "You're a great person" is certainly true, but it won't stick. A specific story will.
- Too embarrassing: A wedding is not the place for stories that require someone to talk to you afterward.
- Too many inside jokes: One inside joke is sweet. Seven inside jokes are a private podcast.
- Too stiff: You can read from notes. You can be nervous. The main thing is that you sound like yourself.
How is a good best man speech structured?
1. Briefly introduce yourself. Who are you, and how do you know the bride or groom? One to two sentences are enough. The audience needs context, not an autobiography.
2. Tell a specific story. Choose a memory that illustrates something: humor, loyalty, knack for chaos, generosity, courage. Not a story that's only funny because someone was very drunk at the time.
3. Transition to the couple. What has changed since they've been together? What makes them such a good match? What have you observed? This is where it can get heartwarming.
4. Wish and Toast. No generic quote from a calendar. Say something that truly comes from you. Then raise your glass and you're done.
How to make a best man speech more personal?
Don't start by writing beautiful sentences. Start by writing down keywords: three characteristics, two memories, a moment with the couple, a wish you truly have for them. This makes writing a speech much easier than staring at a blank document with a blinking cursor.
If you're unsure, choose the kindest version. Humor yes, humiliating no. A wedding is not a roast, even if Uncle Peter might see it differently.
Can you mention the bachelor party in the best man speech?
If there was a nice moment during the bachelor party, that can be a good opening: a group photo, a short fit of laughter, a phrase typical of the person. This connects the bachelor party and the wedding without you recounting half the evening.
Practice the speech out loud twice. Not in your head. Out loud. Your mouth needs to already know the sentences before 80 people look at you.